


I Don't Feel Young

by The_Walking_Pies



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Temporary Character Death, Trans Danny, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 22:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10371270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Walking_Pies/pseuds/The_Walking_Pies
Summary: When the portal accident kills Danny, Maddie and Jack's grief and guilt urges them to try to bring him back through any means necessary. AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for this chapter: death

 

It was curiosity more than anything that had possessed Danny. He wasn’t arrogant enough to believe he could fix what his genius parents could not. This had been their life’s work, their passion. And the bitterness and disappointment had settled over the house like a black cloud. Even Danny’s normally exuberant father had been subdued in the wake of their failure. 

 

For as long as he could remember, Jack and Maddie had been obsessed with ghosts. It had taken Danny years to realize ghosts didn’t exist. He had defended his parents whenever the other kids called them crazy. Unfortunately that had only attracted the unwanted attention of the class bully. Danny had eventually learned to keep his mouth shut and laugh off jeers about his mad scientist parents. But he had believed. Believed in ghosts for far longer than was socially acceptable. Even he grew up though and realized ghosts were nothing more than a strange pastime of his parents. Their energy inventions paid the bills, but ghost hunting was their true passion. They had been designing and perfecting the portal for years, but these past few weeks they had worked almost nonstop on it. When it hadn’t worked, they had walked away. 

 

Some part of Danny had wanted to believe it would work. Wanted to believe again. As a child he’d thought his parents infallible and to learn they were so wrong about the world had shaken him. Besides the idea of an uncharted world was tantalizing to Danny. Exploring a new world, well that was the dream. (Connected to how he wants to be an astronaut)

 

And that was how he found himself in the basement, staring at the empty portal. He’d just wanted a peek, but he felt a strange sense of awe. Working or not, it was truly a sight to behold. Suddenly he’d wished he’s paid more attention when his parents had lectured on and on about how it was supposed to work. Danny shook his head.  _ Ridiculous.  _ Of course it would never work, there was no such thing as ghosts, no ghost world. That didn’t mean the portal wasn’t interesting. It was a technical marvel, that was it. Tucker would love to see it. But Danny would already be in enough trouble if he was caught poking around the lab without his parents, let alone if he invited friends. He would just take a quick look and no one would be the wiser. There was no harm in just a peek. 

 

Danny walked over to rifle through the jumpsuits hanging on the rack. He grabbed one in his size and pulled it over his clothes. The suit never was the most comfort thing to wear. The material wasn’t exactly breathable. At least he wasn’t wearing his binder. 

 

He stood in front of the portal, suddenly feeling very small. The frame was impressive, but it was the vast emptiness of the inside that made him shudder slightly. It was large enough for a person to step inside. Growing up with two scientists meant he was used to weird inventions but this portal really made him feel like he was in a sci-fi. Like he could step inside and be transported to another galaxy. Danny took another step forward, more hesitant. He glanced around the lab nervously like he expected his mom or dad to jump out of nowhere to yell at him. The lab was still as empty as before. 

 

Nothing held him back from stepping into the machine. His heart thumped in his chest. _ Cool.  _ A small smile graced his lips as he made his way further into the machine. He used his hand to feel along the side of the portal. He heard the click as the same time his hand found the button. Before he could even process what had happened, light exploded around him. It crackled through him, leaving pain in its wake. He thought he screamed but he couldn’t control his body. It felt like every nerve in his body was on fire. And then as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

_____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


It had been a lazy sunday afternoon when Jack and Maddie’s world was overturned. Jazz had been at the library with a friend all day. Tucker and Sam had both been busy so Danny had spent the weekend playing video games in his room. The house was quieter than Jack and Maddie could remember in years. Maddie watched her husband sadly, even he was quiet today. She of course had been devastated when the portal failed, but Jack had taken it the hardest. They sat in the living room. Maddie had spent the day staring at her book but not reading it. Jack had hardly said a word, just spent hours knitting a sweater. For someone so careless, Jack was always meticulous with his stitching. Today his stitching was loose and messy and the sweater wouldn’t be wearable. 

 

With a sigh, Maddie tossed her book aside. “Why don’t we go somewhere? Just the two of us?” She smiled at her husband. 

 

Jack gave a noncommittal grunt and kept knitting.

 

“Danny will be fine alone for a few hours. And I think we could use the time to ourselves.” She sighed again. “I know these past weeks have been stressful, but that’s just all the more reason we should do something for us. You know we could go to that new bakery, The Pie Hole.” 

 

A small smile graced Jack’s lips. “That does sound nice.”

 

__________

 

The house was quiet when they returned. But now it felt like a more comfortable silence, instead of the oppressive silence of before. 

 

“Danny! Come get some pie before it’s all gone!” Maddie yelled up the stairs. Jack carried in the pie boxes and set them on the kitchen table. She shot an affectionate look at her husband. He’d cheered up considerably. She could always count on food to cheer Jack up. “Leave some for the kids.” She scolded Jack playfully. 

 

“Danny?” Maddie called again. She frowned when she again received no response. She sighed and shook her head. Danny and his video games, if only he applied the same focus on his school work. “You can leave your game for five minutes.” She said as she climbed up the stairs. 

 

But his bedroom door was wide open and Danny was nowhere to be seen. She swallowed down a wave of panic. He’d probably gone to Tuck’s or Sam’s house. Her frown deepened, Sam was out of town and Tucker was at home with the flu. Where could he be? Danny didn’t exactly have many friends.  _ Deep breathes  _ she told herself, check all the rooms. Maddie marched down the hallway. Not in the bathroom, not in Jazz’s room, not in her room. Surely he would have answered if he was upstairs. If he was downstairs why hadn’t he heard them come in. She walked briskly down the stairs, common sense just keeping her from running. 

 

Jack was still eating the stupid pies when she came downstairs, oblivious to her anxiety.

 

“Danny’s not upstairs.” 

 

Jack shrugged. “He probably went out.”

 

“I don’t know.” She couldn’t explain away the worry churning in her stomach.  “You haven’t seen him?” Maddie chewed at her lip as her husband shook his head. 

 

“C’mon honey, he’s a teenager. It’s in their nature to give their parents grey hair. I’m sure he’s just gone out and forgot to leave a note.”

 

“You’re probably right. I’m going to make sure he isn’t still in the house. Can you check the garage? See if his scooter is gone.” 

 

Jack gave a regretful look at the pie but complied with his wife’s request. As he headed towards the garage, he could hear his wife calling their son’s name again.

 

__________________________

 

“His scooter’s still there.”

 

Maddie’s face fell. “He could have walked, right?” She sounded more like she was trying to reassure herself than ask Jack.

 

“I’ll check the lab, maybe he’s doing his chores.”

 

Maddie looked skeptical. “That’d be a first, doing his chores without prompting.”

 

Jack shot her a grin. “I bet he wants a new computer game.” 

 

That brought out a weak chuckle from Maddie. “Kids. Only helpful when they want something.”

 

Watching her husband disappear down the stairs, she couldn’t help the feeling of wrong. His cry brought her running instantly, hand already gripping her ectogun. 

 

“Jack!” She yelled, already running. Her feet pounded a rhythm on the staircase and she came crashing in her husband’s back. She cried out in surprise and pain but he didn’t seem to notice. 

She grasped her gun tighter, ready to fight whatever had stopped her husband in his tracks. Surveying the room frantically, all she saw was a limp body. It finally dawned on her and the normally very collected scientist could do nothing but scream. 


	2. Chapter 2

Her scream seemed to break the spell on Jack and prompted him to move. Seeing his son lying on the floor and the still sparking portal painted a horrible image in Jack’s mind.  He sprinted towards the body lying on the floor.

 

“No!” Maddie screeched, “It’ll shock you too!”

 

Jack gasped, his chest heaving with every breath. “The power.” He murmured before taking off again, this time running out of the room.

 

Maddie didn’t hesitate, she pulled on her rubber gloves with trembling fingers. The lab went pitch black for a second before the emergency lights clicked on. It should be safe; the portal would be off now. Not safe for her poor Danny, Maddie thought as she crouched by his side. Hope flickered alive in her chest as she felt his warm skin. _Check for a pulse, make sure he’s breathing._ Maddie had never been more thankful for her CPR training as she was now. She laid her head on his chest. _Not breathing_. She grabbed his wrist and pressed her index and middle fingers to ulnar artery. _No pulse._

 

She knelt over Danny and paused as she stared down at her son’s still body. Her eyes shut against the tears burning in her eyes. She had to stay strong. If she dwelled, she’d shut down. _Stay strong. Danny needs you to stay strong._ Repeating the mantra in her head, she started chest compressions.

 

Jack came barreling back into the room, but stopped suddenly when he saw Maddie. He watched as she repeatedly tried and failed to revive their son. He walked, steps slow and hesitant, and knelt down.

 

“We killed him, Jack. We killed our son.” Maddie whispered, stroking Danny’s hair.

 

She sounded so broken, Jack desperately wanted to comfort her, but he was drowning too. He studied his son’s still face, and tried to imagine a world without him.

 

“We can save him.” Jack said suddenly, his mouth moving before his brain caught up. But as Maddie’s head whipped up in shock, a desperate plan had already started to form.

 

“Jack-” Maddie started.

 

“We’re scientists! If we can’t even save our son, what good are we?” Jack said, infused with maniac energy.

 

Maddie looked at Danny’s deceptively peaceful face and considered. Her expression hardened and she nodded. “We’ll need to preserve him while we work.”

 

Jack sprung up from the floor and rustled through the drawers. “First we’ll need a hair and blood sample.”

 

  
It was a mad plan, but as Maddie argued the logistics of it with her husband, she felt herself slip back into the role of scientist. And anything was better than being the grieving mother. She felt slightly sick as Jack drew blood from Danny’s bod-, Danny. Guilt and shame reeled in her stomach but she squashed those feelings. For Danny’s sake and her own she had to remain objective.

Together they lifted Danny into the laboratory freezer. And as the freezer door shut, the decision felt final. There was no turning back.

 


	3. Chapter 3

            The lab had never felt as foreign as it did in that moment. Perhaps some may see labs as cold and clinical, but to Jack and Maddie it felt like home. It wasn’t just because their lab was in their home. The smell of ectoplasm and antiseptic which usually brought a strange sort of comfort now brought bile up in their throats. Years of failures hung over their heads like a warning of the consequences of failing this time.

 

The pair hovered over papers strewn over the cold metal table. 

 

“Theoretically if the ectoplasm was able to bind to the tissue, it could repair the damage. There is of course the risk the ectoplasm will be rejected and instead poison any remaining healthy organs.” Maddie ran a hand through her already haphazard hair.

 

“Our entire family is proof is that ectoplasm and humans aren’t completely incompatible. All four of us have some degree of ectoplasmic contamination, heck both our levels are triple what some would consider ‘normal’ or ‘safe’.” Jack boasted.

 

Maddie’s forehead scrunched up in a way Jack would usually find adorable. “You’re neglecting the other possible outcome; the ectoplasm eats away his humanity until all that’s left is a ghost.”

 

“So we’ll be careful, find a balance.” Jack retorted.

 

Like it was that easy. “We don’t have forever. The freezer is just a temporary solution, it won’t completely stop decomposition and it’ll do more damage to the tissue.”

 

“If you’re sitting on another idea, now would be the time to share.” Jack growled.

 

Maddie bit back the harsh reply ready on her tongue and sighed. They both had eyes red and tired from crying and tempers ran high. Jack saw her shoulders sag and felt his own anger disappear.

“You need some aspirin?” Jack offered, he had a pounding headache and it was likely Maddie had own as well.

 

“Yes, thank you.” Maddie’s lips twitched up into a small smile that was gone as soon as it appeared. 

_

 

Jack rummaged through the medicine cabinet of the first floor bathroom. To his growing frustration, it’d become more like a junk cabinet, and finding the aspirin was proving difficult. He grumbled as he tossed the clutter to the ground, piece by piece. Expired prescriptions, a screwdriver, ectoplasm samples, _where was that stupid aspirin_. He’d wanted to step away and calm down, but he just felt worse away from the lab. He let out a heavy sigh, he’d made a mess out of the bathroom floor. He was startled from his melancholy thoughts by the familiar click of a key turning in the lock. It took him a second to comprehend what it meant, but when he did his stomach dropped. Jazz. _Shit._ Jack took off running. He was closer to the basement then the front door, maybe he could make it before she spotted him. The hallway carpet softened the sound of his steps, but he was sure Jazz had to hear him pushing the basement door open and shut behind him with a thud. He turned with surprising speed and twisted the lock. His head was abuzz with panic. _Maddie will know what to do,_ he desperately hoped.

 

Maddie was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, a concerned look on her face. “What’s wrong?” She called up to him.

 

“Jazz is home.” He said breathlessly.

 

“I can’t believe we forgot about Jazz.” Maddie saw the fear in her husband’s eyes but didn’t feel it. She felt the despair creeping back into her bones and it left little room for anything else. “What do we say to her?” She asked softly.

 

“I thought you’d know!” Jack said urgently, his eyes wide and wild.

 

“Oh.” Maddie stared past him, her expression blank. “I’ll go talk to her.”

 

“Good, good.” Jack nodded frantically. His face was drenched in sweat and his body was shaking.

 

Maddie walked past her husband, not evening glancing at him.  She marched up the stairs.

 

_________

 

The Fenton house was rarely completely quiet. There was usually something; the TV that was almost always left on, the hum of Mom and Dad’s “ghost” technology, or just the fact that no one ever seemed to know how to use inside voices.

 

Which was why Jazz was surprised when she came home to find the house quiet. Mom and Dad had been bummed out about their portal, but the house hadn’t been this quiet when she left.

 

“Hello?” Jazz called out uncertainly. She frowned when there was no response. Glancing around for a note or some clue and finding none, she headed towards the kitchen.  

 

“Hello, honey.” A voice called out.

 

 “Mom!” Jazz jumped. Her heart still thudded in her chest but her shoulders slumped. “You scared me.”

 

“You need to leave.” Maddie was staring at Jazz with a strange intensity. Her head was cocked, her posture stiff, and her face blank.

 

“I- What?” Jazz blinked. “What are you talking about?”

 

“There’s been an accident in the lab. It’s not safe in here.”

 

“Is everyone okay? Why didn’t you call me?” Anxiety burned in Jazz’s chest.

 

“Of course.” Maddie smiled, but there was no warmth to it. “It’s just not safe for you to be here while your Dad and I clean it up. Your brother is already staying at a friend’s house. You should do the same. Just for the night.”

 

Jazz’s eyes narrowed, something felt off. “Where’s Danny staying?” Either Danny or Mom was lying if she said Sam or Tucker, since they were both out of town.

 

Without missing a beat, Maddie answered. “I believe he said the boy’s name was Wes.”

 

Jazz’s shoulders slumped and she felt guilty for even suspecting her mom of lying. She didn’t know Wes, but then again, Danny only invited Sam and Tucker over to the house. He said they already knew how weird their parents were and wasn’t afraid of scaring them off.   “I’ll call Veronica and ask her if I can stay over for the night.”

 

“Thank you, honey. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cisgender, so please tell me if anything is wrong or offensive in this fic.  
> Title is from a Wye Oak song by the same name.  
> Inspiration came from this picture: http://ghostbadger.tumblr.com/post/64677616591/au-where-dannys-parents-found-him-dead-in-front


End file.
